I've been trying to keep my personal thoughts, per se, out of this blog. Instead, I've tried to strictly focus on weight loss inspired topics...
Today, I'm going to veer a little off course and just write about my generally depressed state as of late. This is going to be more of a "stream of consciousness" thing, so bear with me.
It's funny actually...if you read my first post, I noted I was depressed then...and I thought that losing weight would solve my problems...well, I've lost more weight over 8 weeks than I would have ever imagined (doing it the right way as well) and yet I still feel this way...why?
When I was in high school, I said that if someone would pay me six figures to be a fry cook, I would do that in a heartbeat. It was always about the money with me and not about doing something I actually enjoyed. As a a matter of fact, I've never really found something that I both enjoy and could make a decent living at. So, I got my BA in Business and took the first decent job that came across my path...and did well enough to get promoted...and then left that job to take another job at better pay...and then more jobs and more promotions, etc...I even went back and got my MBA so I could keep the better jobs and promotions coming...
And here I am at 32 in a corporate director's position with my own office, people working for me, and a six figure income...and I pretty much hate the position I'm in...and I have no idea of what to do next...
I think part of the problem is that I currently have no boss to work for really...the person who promoted me into my current role has moved on to another role in the company and his position has been vacant for *9 months*. The person who is filling the role on an interim basis is on the opposite coast from me and she has enough on her plate without worrying what I am doing for the company (If anything). Honestly, I could probably take the next 2 weeks off, not tell anyone, and just dial into the bi-weekly staff update and no one would know the difference (except for the people working for me )...
You might be saying, "You're telling me you make 6 figures in a job where no one cares whether you actually perform or not, and that is a bad thing?" And I think that takes me back to my earlier statement about being happy being a fry cook for $100K. I think I underestimated the importance of actually getting some satisfaction out of your job...
But the problem still remains as to what I want to do that will provide some satisfaction in my life? I'm pretty sure that being a corporate director is not going to make me happy, but what will make me happy...and if I find that profession, can I make enough $$$ to be the sole provider for my family (now of 3)?
That's all I want to write for now...I'm not really loooking for answers from the crowd. Sometimes it helps to just write it all out....you know?
2 comments:
Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Glad to lend my eyes and ears. :)
Yeah, I know what you mean.
I find the post kind of reassuring though. My family is always on my ass for going to school and getting a (in their eyes) worthless degree. Even more worthless (in their eyes) is me focusing on Rhetoric as a passion.
But it makes me happy. Hopefully I won't end up in a job that I hate just because I want the cash. And yes, oh yes, after being in school for 6 years do I want the cash! =0p
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